California Dreaming :( by JeSuisButterfly .....

lines lines lines...

Date:   3/7/2006 8:00:07 PM ( 15 y ago)

I'm sitting here after drinking an incredibly nutritious smoothie, thinking, "Don't throw up. DON'T go into that bathroom and stick your fingers down your throat. You drank that to help yourself, NOT to hurt yourself."

The past couple of days have been a challenge. Lots of personal growth, even more pain to go with it. But not the dull ache anymore. It's been sharp.. sharp ripping sensations.

I miss California.

This vacation's useless, these white pills aren't kind - I've given a lot of thought on this 13 hour drive. I miss the grinded concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights. I've given a lot of thought to those nights we used to have... the days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast. I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor where I laid and told you, but you swear you loved me more... Do you care if I don't know what to say? Will you sleep tonight? Will you think of me? Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay, that there's someone out there who feels just like me? There is.


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