Buddy, I think it is very obvious that you have yourself a handful of trouble that you want to hang onto because you have great sex and you appear to view her as some kind of trophy that would ordinarily be beyond your reach (in your mind anyway).
From what you describe there is a whole lot going on beyond any possible issues of her being bipolar or not - such as past history that probably needs to be addressed by someone much more qualified than yourself.
Beyond the physical and ego desires, you seem to be a caring guy - though it is hard to say how much is caring and how much is wanting to make your hot trophy more livable. At any rate, you have tried to get her to seek help and she has refused. Your friends and her ex's all see what you can't while your blood is mostly between your legs instead of between your ears.
Trust me, you can't fix her. Maybe someday she will seek the help she needs and take a good look at what she needs to fix in herself. Until that happens, you have done what you can and you had best look at what kind of fix and misery you may be putting yourself in.
Life is simpley too precious and short my friend, to spend even a day of it arguing and being miserable and such and dang sure too short to spend in misery trying to fix someone who refuses to be fixed. So, be happy for the good sex and ego boost or whatever you have enjoyed thus far, wish her the best and repeat your plea for her to get help, and then have a good talk with "Little Feddie" or whatever you call your whanger and convince it that taint no poohninnie worth that price and it is time for the both of you to move on!
You know what they say about the reason that guys give their, umm, male units names, don't you? It's because we don't want a stranger making so many important decisions for us!
Hi, there. I haven't read all of the responses to your post, but I would offer this suggestion: be very, very cautious about making a "diagnosis" as a layman, or asking others who are not professional clinicians to make a diagnosis for you.
There are many "red flags" that you're describing and you haven't mentioned how long this relationship has been going on or any circumstances as to how you met, etc., so there's only these red flags to go on.
Anyone who starts throwing the word, "perfect," around as a form of praise or chastisment is using words as weapons. Nobody is perfect and to suggest that anyone is (or, is NOT) is playing with emotional fire. Sure, there may be underlying nutritional causes for her contradictory behavior, but being promiscuous, history of abuse, etc., does not preclude bi-polar disorder. Her behaviors could suggest any number of disorders that could be organic, or learned.
I would gently suggest that you step back, re-examine everything about the relationship, including what your expectations are of her, and what you feel her expectations are of you. How old is she? How old are you? Does she maintain good work ethics, or has she jumped from job to job? What are you observing of her parenting skills? What is her credit history? Does she have a criminal history? Is she attentive to her child's needs and emotionally bonded with her child? Is she truly loving and accepting of you, or is she possibly looking for someone to help ease the burden of her situation? Is money a big topic of discussion or disagreement? Is she following through with promises, or is she apt to make grandiose promises that can never be realized? Is she health-conscious for herself and her child? Have you experienced the ups and downs of life with her, yet (illness, financial woes, injuries, death in the family)? Etc., etc., etc. Examination of the entire picture requires a certain amount of detatchment, as well as objectivity and this may take some effort to remove the "emotional Self" from the situation in order to use common sense. Too often, we see things that seem be "too good to be true," and when the smoke clears and the hormones settle, we realize that we've made an error in our choices of partners. Anything that seems to good to be true usually is - it just takes a while for us to see someone's true colors. Consider taking a step back and taking in everything that you know and have experienced with this person and draw your own conclusions without trying to produce a diagnosis to explain or excuse her behaviors.
Best wishes to you.
Omigod, I just read all of the responses and your responses to the responses.
She is a trophy and that's the bottom line. What do you honestly know about her dealings in Family Court other than what she's told you? Have you seen Court Orders and evidence to back up her claims about a deadbeat father?
It would be a very, very smart and wise move if you chose to step back, leave the superficial to the superficial, and begin seeing yourself down the road with this gal after 5 years. TOO many people put up with behaviors just so they can carry an "attractive" man or woman on their arm, and they end up paying dearly for it, in the end.
Oy-vey. Again, best wishes to you.
I have also read through the posts and honestly I cannot advise to either look elsewhere for your happiness or not. I am concerned about the woman! You obviously care for the person for whatever reason and that is refreshing to hear.
It seems to me that the woman has emotional problems and being interested in nutritional psychotherapy I cannot advise, that conventional doctors or psychologists are in a position to help her, except putting her on a long-term medication regime, which is not necessarily going to solve her problems.
I also realize that if she does not WANT treatment, there is little you can do to help her. However, therapy may turn out to be more simple than appears at first sight.
Knowing that most mood disorders are related to Hypoglycemia it may be worthwhile to have her tested with:
If she scores high it may be positive for hypoglycemia, which could be responsible for some of her behvaiour. This can be treated by going on a Hypoglycemic Diet without recourse to drugs. Please discuss with a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychotherapist, if you want to.
Of course, this all depends on her willingness to recognize that she suffers from some emotional problems.
Let us know how she goes?