Are grape bitter good for cleansing the liver?

Yes, excellent.  I recommend a half a dropper full on the tongue and swallow.  It is best to start out slowly, such as once every few days and work your way up to three times daily.  Don't forget to drink plenty of water throughout the day when using bitters.

Ug, I am so lost. How do I find a good doctor who will figure out what is going on with my body...? Is this AF? Leaky gut? ( I have developed severe food reactions, like I get stoned on dairy and wheat ) Is it both? Is it a crappy liver? All of the above?

I would focus on building up the adrenals.  This will help with food sensitivities and will reduce intestinal inflammation that can lead to leaky gut.  This way you do not have to guess as to which one it may be.

I am tackling the diet thing, but have no idea what to do next. Help?

Without more detailed information such as other health issues and symptoms it is hard to narrow down things down.  So I cannot recommend much else than what I already have based on the information given.