"like being tickled to distraction."
this is a huge sensory/mind recognition/awareness.
I don't feel like talking too much tonight;
but wanted to tell you, I think there are at least
three solid 'titles' in your post; if you are
the writing kind... and also, if not; there are
many avenues: signs, pointings...for you, and for
others who have ears to hear.
And for those who don't?
You could write some lovely essays. And likely will.
best with your fast...nothing can surpass the mind and eye of the heart that witnesses, with bare attention.
"feels like severe constipation in my heart"
mmh I hear you there. I think, in all honesty
that you are seeing/glimpsing through the veils...
resist the temptation to run away, or to
imagine that all is seen...
IT CAN BE HARD, but only insfar as you resist
what you see. when all else fails I find a good cry
cleans the windows... (or a good bath) followed by
a comforting cup (pick your favorite)
of hot, boiled water, sipped.
I'm speaking of the water fast,of course.