Religion has disowned the mystical aspects of Christianity.
Without it Christianity can become about rules instead of being about relationship to God. Our God lives. He still heals. He communicates. The holy spirit is still moving. The gifts of the spirit where first given out when God gave the commandment to spread the gospel. He is a comforter as we serve the Lord. To receive the gifts of the spirit you must have the faith to believe in them.
Without the spirit, the bible may as well be written in greek. Without him Jesus is only an idea you either choose to believe or deny.
With the spirit the presence of God becomes tangible, undeniable and awe inspiring.
I understand being disappointed with God. Seek for a bigger God with all your heart and you will find him. The faster you surrender to him and to his priorities the faster you will find him. Its not about never sinning again. We are all sinners. It is about relating to God, seeking his will and letting him be sovereign.
He knows this is hard and he grades on a curve.
For more about this kind of relationship with God watch any clips from Bill Johnson. He is on Youtube, Ibetheltv, and Itunes has audio files. Also David Hess of Christ community Church is wonderful and his sermons are all at christcc.org If you have felt judged by ministers in the past, these guys are safe. They hold to biblical principals but their focus is not on sin but on developing a relationship to God. We are all sinners, but through Christ we are transformed.