Did you read the accusatory response on CureZone, or another site? If you read it on one of the CZ religious debate forums, I will offer this insight with regard to such judgemental thinking: someone who believes that another human being "invites" being raped is full of hatred. Period. They hate what they are, they hate what they aren't, they hate what they see, they hate what they think, they hate others for their humanity, and they hate God for whatever reason, but they continue to espouse what they twist and warp as "God's Message" to soothe their own inner turmoil without realizing that they're perpetuating their own angst and not, by any stretch of the imagination, following some very simple lessons. People who respond in such a way to a violent criminal assault against other human beings suffer a complete absence of human empathy and/or compassion. These people are to be avoided, at all costs, both online and in "Real Life." They are rabid in their flawed beliefs, and there is no cure for rabies that has gone that far.
One of the saddest reasons that the act of rape is diminished and made light of is becaue of the misguided belief that rape is simply about sex. It's not. It's the defining act of objectification, humiliation, and degradation that can be perpetrated upon another human being because it is accomplished via sexual assault.
The reason that many rape victims are dismissed as having "asked for it" is equally sad. There are men and women, out there, who have accused others of perpetrating this most heinous crime for their own purposes - to pay someone out for dumping them, ignoring them, or even something as mundane as creating drama. The same happens with people who falsely report child abuse - too many people have made false accusations, and the actual victims are dismissed and the crimes diminished because of previous false accusations. The courts are clogged with false allegations, and my personal belief is that anyone who is proven to have made a false allegation should compensate the accused, AND the community by way of punitive damages and volunteer work with any agency or facility that actually helps victims of crime.
The only way to manage this type of ignorance is to speak truthfully, without anger, high-pitched emotions, or finger-wagging. Speak the facts, regardless of whether they're pleasant or not. Speak the truth, even if the truth isn't personally flattering. But, don't feed the rapid wingnuts by responding to such outrageous beliefs. Whether we "like" this fact, or not, wingnuts are "allowed" to maintain any beliefs that they wish to, regardless of whether those beliefs are based upon facts, or upon hatred. Responding to such stupidity only gives such toxic individuals an excuse to go on ranting and raving, and spreading their warped and twisted interpretations. Meet that kind of bad behavior with silence and "shunning." That, dear one, is the core of "turning the other cheek." Turning our cheeks in the opposite direction of hatred and wilfull ignorance is punishment enough and does not allow for the other cheek to be struck, again. Walk away from it, without rage, hatred, or anger. Those people are what they are, and we don't have the power to fix what ails them.
Build your own system of beliefs on what you observe. Base them upon truths and facts, and NOT upon what others might interpret to fit their own personal agendas.
Sadly, there are, indeed, individuals out there that are full of hatred, and they are known in the psychiatric/psychological communities as "anti-social," or, "sociopaths," simply put. It is estimated that 20% of all human beings on this planet are sociopaths or psychopaths.
If a person meets the criteria of a sociopath, they do not have a conscience - this means precisely what it sounds like. They do not have a sense of remorse. They do not have compassion. They do not have pity. They do not have empathy. They mimic whatever human responses that they observe to "fit in," and they are (to the knowelgable eye) 100% disingenuous, glib, and over-the-top in their mirroring. Just because a person doesn't have a kill-count does not mean that they don't meet any of the criteria. The psychological and psychiatric communities are confounded by this facet of Human Nature, and have attempted to define it on a number of occasions. Recently, the DSM-V was released after being revised, again, and under extremely hostile conditions. Many of the "experts" either refused to agree, or were unable to agree on specifics. Some of these professionals on the revision board were fired, while others stood up and walked out, never to return.
For these people, harming others is a primary objective, whether that harm is the result of climbing a corporate ladder, or taking sexual liberties with someone, or setting up a vulnerable widow for a long-con. They do the things that they do because they can. They find excitement and gratification in the hunt, chase, and demise of their victims, literally, or figuratively. They do not "feel" the way that their victims do - they can't. For whatever reason (genetically, environmentally, or both), they are unable to feel emotions. And, what "mainstream" human beings do, today, is to attempt to assign a more warm-and-fuzzy perception and definition of this facet of Human Nature. These types of people have always existed, and they always shall until the end of humanity. At one point in the human story, I imagine that these types of people had some "purpose."
How psychopaths, sociopaths, and anti-social individuals choose their victims is quite simple: they observe and watch for vulnerabilities that they can exploit. A rapist, for example, literally seeks a victim with specific vulnerabilities and traits - this has been extensively documented and discussed. Still, knowing this, a person simply cannot "know" what any human predator will be looking for, and it is very exhausting to live in constant fear. The sociopaths that have not been arrested, charged, or imprisoned for their choices, actions, and behaviors are countless. They move in the "mainstream" and they have families, careers, pets, etc. If you have ever interacted with a sociopath, you would have either felt extremely flattered, or extremely uncomfortable. They each (without variation) will observe a potential prey with what is known in the profession as "the predatory stare." This is not "normal" eye-contact. The predatory stare is intense and unwavering so the individual can observe and mentally catalog every physical, verbal, and subtle nuance of the potential victim. It is similar to the posture of a hunting cheetah - eyes locked onto a possible prey, and never wavering until the hunt is either successful, or it isn't.
One interesting discussion that I had with regard to sociopaths was the fact that they have pets. "But, s/he loves their pet so much!" this person was saying. I was simply unable to prove that the woman that was being discussed was mirroring what she believed to be "normal" behaviors. She seemed as if she "loved" her pets, but she only "loved" them whenever it was convenient for her - i.e., in front of guests and fawning all over her canine as if it were a child. Well, it was over-the-top acting, plain and simple and all of her acting was so extreme that she was obviously disingenuous. Strict aside, the individual that we were discussing spent 3 years in a women's prison for her choices and behaviors, and another 6 on parole, and she never stopped doing what landed her in prison, the first time - she just altered her methods and tactics, and was (at last contact) very successful with her exploits.
"Acceptance" is a point where there can be no further negotiations, bargaining, or manipulation of the facts to generate a more pleaseant outcome. These people exist - fact. There is no pill, supplement, protocol, hypnosis, Divine Intervention, or personal epiphany that is going to "cure" them from this disorder - fact. Even the "experts" cannot agree on how to manage these types of individuals - fact. The "professional" estimate is that 20 out of every 100 people that you pass on the street do not have a conscience, remorse, or empathy - fact.
When we accept that these people really do exist, for whatever reason, and that we cannot ever "know" who they really are and/or treat and/or "cure" them, then we can get on with the matter of attending to ourselves and learning how to protect our precious vulnerabilities. We can stop attempting to fit the square pegs into the round holes, and move on.
Having been a victim (on every level, imaginable) of crime and misdemeanors, an advocate, and peer-counselor, I can say that victim-blame is typical, and whether or not it is rooted in ignorance, fear, shame, or simple hatred doesn't matter to a victim, one iota. Being invalidated and dismissed is simply another metaphorical violation. This is why there are Victims' Advocates - someone who is not personally involved in the trauma has the ability to approach the needs of their clients with objectivity, sensibilities, and assisting in recovery and healing.
I meant to address the discussion, above, about people who engage in victim-blame in the names of their chosen deities. Take various cultural and religious beliefs that make a rape victim responsible for the "shame" that is brought to their family and stoning the victim, to death, to relieve the family of the victim of the "shame," legally. If that isn't hatred, ignorance, and straight-up psychopathological thinking, then I cannot imagine any other examples in human history that would suffice. And, there are plenty of groups and organizations that hold fast to the belief that the victim must have done something to warrant what happened to them. I've been present at some of these events where someone who contracted AIDS literally asked for and deserved it because they were homosexual.
I watched, with my own eyes, a male police officer who was a church member that atttended regularly actually ridicule a man who was in the station filing charges of domestic violence against his wife - his face was lacerated and he was visibly shaking. The officer said something along the lines of, "Whassamatta? Can't you control the little woman?" This same officer was, years later, investigated by Internal Affairs for having raped female drivers that he had pulled over for some offense. This was long before on-board video cameras, and this is just one example of hatred and victim-blame that I am personally acquainted with.
Victim-blame is THE "go-to" response for people who have never experienced a criminal or civil assault. There is no warm-and-fuzzy facet to victim-blame. It is what it is, and we can try to explain it away in any terms that we can, but it's still just another type of violation against the victim.