Day 4

I'm typing w/my eyes closed. So tired. Slumping in my seat. Sore, espeially in back of thighs all the way to behind knees.

OK, eyes open now... still slumping a bit. So weak.

I never felt like this on previous cleanses. I haven't done one since 2003. I've been through a lot of stress since then. I left an abusive man who I'd been with for 18 years and had long ago grown to hate. He took my 4 oldest kids from me by lying in court and this has hurt me immensely. He has turned my 2 oldest kids against me viciously (ages 11 and 13). I homeschooled them, spent all my time and energy on them, loved them, and continue to love them forever.

I lost contact with a lot of people I thought were close friends after I left the ex. They took his side, saying, "He's such a good man, such a kind person. He can't possibly be abusive." They have no idea what he's like behind closed doors. Only my kids, my sister, my mom, a couple of friends I've known for many years, and myself have witnessed what he is really like.

On the bright side, I am now in a positive, loving, non-abusive relationship with my soulmate, and we have a beautiful 16 month old son together and hope for more babies. (I knew him as a mutual friend of friends long before I was involved with him). I've taken a course in Medical Transcription, graduated with high honours, and just got hired with the largest MT company in the world. I am happy to be free to be me and no longer oppressed by a controlling man. But the pains of the past still linger. Maybe that has something to do with the pain I'm now experiencing? Or could it be something else entirely?