I wasn't sure what tamari is (not common in the U.S.), but learned that it's "similar to but thicker than soy sauce, tamari is also a dark sauce made from soybeans."
If you're allergic to soy, unfortunately you may have to avoid these foods. From the first link below, "Anyone allergic to soy will probably have to avoid all soy products, which include hydrolyzed vegetable protein, textured soy protein (also called textured vegetable protein, TVP), isolated soy protein, miso, natto, okara, soy cheese, soy sauces (teriyaki, TAMARI, shoyu), soy protein concentrates, isolates and flours, soynuts, soygrits, soy oil, tempeh, yuba, soy beverages, and TOFU products."
On the other hand, people who are either lactose intolerant or even allergic to milk can sometimes tolerate yogurt since the beneficial bacteria in yogurt partially breaks down both lactose and milk proteins (the compoment of milk which some people are allergic to). It's hard to say if the same process (fermentation) may allow soy-allergic people to consume fermented soy products, although one site says this: "The way in which soyfoods are processed can affect allergenicity. In general, fermented soyfoods such as miso, tempeh, shoyu, tofu and natto are less allergenic than raw soybeans. Allergic reactions sometimes do not occur upon exposure to soy sauce because, in general, soy sauce is consumed in very low quantities and is low in protein (per gram) compared to other soy foods. Soybean oil that is completely free of protein should not produce allergic symptoms."
Evidently not all tofu is fermented. One definition of tofu is "A soft vegetable cheese prepared by treating soybean milk with coagulants (as magnesium chloride or dilute acids)." This is coagulation, NOT fermentation.
Also, "Studies show that most soy allergic individuals may safely eat products that contain soy lecithin and soy oils. These substances are fat based, and persons with allergies react to the protein portion of the food."
My guess is that:
1. You shouldn't eat non-fermented soy products, whether raw or cooked.
2. You MAY be able to eat fermented soy products. Experiment and see what happens. Consume in moderation at first.
As far as the safety of soy is concerned, I've read a few websites (all of them individuals or small organizations) which warn against consuming same. But I can't help but notice that many large, reputable medical groups actually RECOMMEND soy. The Mayo Clinic says, "Soy foods have been eaten safely for centuries and can help improve cholesterol levels and promote heart health." Harvard School of Medicine states, "Soybeans, tofu, and other soy-based foods are an excellent alternative to red meat....The American Heart Association now recommends including soy-based foods as part of a heart-healthy diet." That's good enough for me.