Your problems are not conflicting, they are a fingerprint of the complete you as you are at this moment. They are all yours, for you to resist with frustration and feel victimized, or for you to embrace with vigor as your current life's greatest challenge. Eventually, you will see them as the latter, and be grateful for the opportunity to show yourself what great power the body has to fix itself once all obstacles are removed. When you have achieved your victory and joined forces with your body in harmony, you will be in a powerful position to help others who are in your current situation if you choose that.
Your mind has tremendous power, far more than you can possibly imagine from your current perspective, to heal and fix anything in this world. It knows what to do, better than any doctor, knows all of the minutest details of every situation in existance and your mind can orchestrate any experience that you desire to happen in your life. Believing this is the first step, acting on the new knowledge is the next step.
Acting on it means this: You decide that you will not tolerate living in a body which is in such state of disrepair. You must decide that you as a person are just too good to be forced to suffer with such pain and inconvenience everyday. You must decide for yourself, by yourself that you are worth FAR more than your current circumstances and you will not accept their continuation any longer. You must feel worthy of the improvement that you know you desire. You must ferociously DENY any thoughts that you have about yourself which are less than perfect. You must deny any feelings you have that you are less than perfect. You must mentally invalidate any people in your life who to you act as symbols of your inferiority, imperfection, uselessness, whatever destrutive ideas you can imagin them thinking about you. Those people do NOT think those things about you, but you believe they do, or you think they should. Only you know what is going on your mind about how you feel about yourself, ony you can root out the weeds and burn them. When you burn them, use nuclear bombs, as many as you can imagine, make more if you need them. Make that place in your mind which doesn't like you be inhabitable forever. Let no thought of self hatred ever exist in that space or anywhere else in your mind.
This is truly the key to change. Deciding that you REALLY ARE that wonderful beautiful brilliant creative fortunate loving and well loved angel that you know you really are in the innermost place in your heart. Decide that you need and desire change in your outer world in order to reflect the new image you have rediscovered for yourself. Change adds joy, because we are made to adapt and thrive, to constantly improve our lives with our giant brains and infinite minds. Not using these gifts to your advantage causes boredom, discontent, frustration, feeling trapped and futile.
That same resistance you feel towards changing your mind and embracing the challenge of fixing your life (health and whatever else) will cause you to resist believing this fundamental truth - that you can change anything by changing your expectations, by changing what you are willing to accept as good enough for you. When you stand up and insist on your self worth being infinite, you are saying to every circumstance in your life that it will change to perfection NOW! Your own judgement of your value in all existance is the most important and powerful thought there is in your world. What you decide it should be is THE TRUTH, and it controls what your world is like.
You have to go into your private, secret, most sacred place, where only you can go, that special magical room in your heart where you go when you cry in your pillow, where you go to celebrate your victories in the outer world, where you go to give thanks for the good things that happen to you. When there, you must take off your armor and put down your sword of self defense because nothing can touch you here - you are safe and secure in your secret place. Once there, you can think about the idea of changing your expectations for yourself without resisting the idea, without being afraid of what might happen if you accepted the idea. You can try it on for size, and see if your mind melts or goes insane, or maybe even feels a little bit better. Try accepting that you are the perfect little angel that you think you only USED to be. Perfect means just that, there is no excuse for any compromise, andthing less than exactly what you want for yourself. You ar the perfect little angel and you deserve perfection in your life, all the time, in every area.
Once you ave tasted this glimmer of freedom, or knowing that you yourself are the only power to effect anything in your life, you will crave the feeling more and more, and go to your secret place to taste it more often. Once you realize that it is safe to accept responsibility and all the benefits of it, then and only the will you be healed. Not begin to be healed, I mean you will be healed at that moment. Not by magic or by God or some unintelligible external force (from which you must defend yourself as you do now), but by accepting the power that you are to affect any aspect of your life. By knowing that you are perfect and beautiful inside, you take this feeling outside and vehemently reject the current appearances of imperfection. This opening up to the "truth" of who you really are and rejection of the undesireable "illusions" that you now see is the next step for your life.
Nobody outside of the secret place in your heart can help you. While you are in there you may meet other helpers who can assist you, but you will have to decide that for yourself. Anybody on the outside who acts as a symbol of savior to you will be a distraction. There is no help on the outside, only you can help yourself to heal your life in every way. And it is so simple, and the results come so fast. Surrender your resistance, believe that you are powerful enough in your mind to understand and accept the truth of your perfection. Then ACT by writing the changes that you wish to see and never ever change your mind until you see them with your physical eyes in your world.
From now on, when you remember that your are sick, and start to try to resist feeling disgusted and invalidated by that, STOP trying to resist the feelings of disgust and invalidation. ACCEPT those feelings and let them play all the way out. They are natural and just and they are your friends! They are correct and true in advising you that your current state of life is beneath you and you need to be disgusted by it and allow circumstances to CHANGE! These feelings are the fuse that will make you feel very serious and committed to seeing the change that you most desire. The feeling of committment to personal change is the most joyous one can feel in all of life. Knowing that you can tolerate improvement in your world, and accepting this feeling with the joy of knowing that fulfillment is imminent - these are what you are really seeking. The sicknesses and other limitations you are living are merely invitations for you to learn this and accept the changes with joy.
Your ego will make excuses why this is pie in the sky, reasons why you cannot do this, why you must stay sick until some outside forces tells you it is OK for you to be healed. You must deny this, your worst enemy, from witholding your freedom and happiness anymore. It is OK to change, you deserve better, and better can only come with change. Consciousness is the ultimate source and force in existance. You are a living point of consciousness. Use it to its fullest potential and turn your life into the magic fantasy of abundant life that you so desire. It is your choice.