You kissed two other guys after the last time you promised yourself it wouldn't happen again.
You wouldn't be posting all you do here, looking for advice or permission or absolution if you truly loved and respected yourself. Many of your posts point blank say you don't.
You claim you're now ready to give him your love and trust, but you don't ultimately love or trust yourself. Those are not things that you can find outside of you to fill in the holes. NO-ONE is ever going to be able to do that except YOU. FIRST, you learn to love, trust, and respect yourself completely, THEN you can love and trust someone else. Sorry, Hollywood idealistic fantasies aside, it really doesn't work in reverse.
May we all find what we need.