been there done that
It took Strength to do that, and you, unfortunately and completely understandably, will likely go through a period of mourning, but there are better things ahead. You KNOW that you tend to hold things against yourself (DO NOT DO THAT). With all of the emotions you understand, you are a walking "marriage made in heaven", (sounds strange, but by now, you can feel and understand more emotions than most people) and can be such an incredible asset to any boyfriend who has the brains to see it. Part of that "incredible asset" is not just being able to understand all those emotions, but having a GOOD conscience, so, you are going to have to make a conscious effort not to return to your habit of "self denegration" and persecute yourself for your past.
Get a gun and point it at me, and I'll give you FEAR.
but get a CONSCIENCE and live according to it, and I'll give you RESPECT.
Learn to respect yourself, then, other people will also (except for the anal retentive ones, they'll be jealous of you). If you respect yourself, you will not be good for other people's ego, and many people are childish enough to let this bother them.