How can I control the jealousy I feel for my fiance? I try not to show it, but I have anxiety attacks every time he will travel on his own, or be at some social function on his own.
I analyze that part of it is him not making me feel secure in the relationship. He doesn't tell me he loves me, he doesn't call me affectionate names, he doesn't answer my emails or call me frequently, he doesn't give me gifts, he is not romantic. These things can make a woman feel loved and secure, and therefore not have any feelings of jealousy. By the way, with my first husbsand I felt extrememly secure and I had no jealousy whatsoever fo him. We even stayed apart for 9 months in different cities at one point in our marriage (he lost his job and found one in another city before we reunited) and I never had suspicions of what he was doing on his spare time. I just trusted him.
Maybe in this new relationship some things happened that made me like this. In the beginning when we met he told me he was still in love with his ex-wife. Red flag. Then, when he went on business trips (half business half leisure) he would not call me and tell me what he was doing. It was all a mystery. While I tell him everything I do, I know he keeps lots of secrets from me. HIs email is locked (which I can understand), he doesn't get personal mail at home (we live together), he calls his family and friends when he's away from me.
I have found myself rummaging through his pockets, an attitude I find demeaning. I guess all this mystery keeps me on guard; therefore such jealousy. He is also the kind of man who checks out other women while in public with me, turning his head to look at every pretty thing that goes by (I am an attractive woman myself!). Maybe this makes me feel insecure too. Anyhow, I am trying to find reasons I feel such jealousy.
Is there anyone here who suffers from this disease and how do you not let it cause you so much anguish????