'No doubt about it, it's definitely the ole 'rock and a hard place' situation :(
I empathize with ya, gal. For me, it's SO important to "be one" with my husband, and if he doesn't share my enthusiasm (or balks at it, or 'shuts it down'), I feel like part of ME has been crushed or cut off...there's just nothing good about that feeling at all.
I don't mean for this to sound/be insulting toward men (because I don't think it's a bad thing that we're different at all), but sometimes they are SO different than us, that we forget to do the things that motivate them (or we assume the same things that motivate us WILL motivate them), of course, that's not always the case. Just like the ole "average stereotypical" sex-thing. We girls want to be talked to, communicated with, stroked, played with, respected, loved, nurtured and romanced to 'get in the mood' - lucky guys, all they need is a quick look at a half-naked body, and they're in the mood before we can even think to say 'in the mood'.
Most times, 'average-sterotypical' guys just don't need, want, or appreciate all that other stuff...or they don't need, want, or appreciate it until they've experienced how wonderful it is to hop into the sack with a woman that's had the chance to be motivated in a way that works for her, and is seriously ready to go at it :) And once they experience that a time or two, then they're all about learning more!
That being the case, one of the things that has always worked well for me, is to just 'lay it on the line' with the food, in the most tempting, appealing, (almost sexual!) way I possibly can. Okay then, so you don't WANT to talk about it the food, communicate about it, stroke/play/respect/love/nuture and romance it...so how about it I just make it look really good and taste even better?! :) Since I LOVE to cook (I'm an artist, and I consider cooking to be a fantastic art form), so it's easy for me, but even if it's NOT easy for you, there's still lots of things you can try/do.
Here's a really good one that most ANYbody can't resist (male OR female). Uncooked Peach/Banana Pie. (since I don't know your preference/limits on diet, I'll just give you the basics, and you can adjust them however it'll work for ya).
--One unbaked pie crust (or baked, if you "do" cooked food). I use crumbled/ground 'sweet crackers'or granola mixed with partially ground nuts, a bit of sucanat and ghee.
--A couple-three cups of juicy fresh sliced peaches and a banana or two. Mix them together with a couple of tablespoons of lemon juice, sprinkle a bit of sucanat on 'em, mix them up real good, and leave them at room temperature for a couple hours to get good n' juicy.
--Pour off the juice (add enough water to equal a couple of cups total liquid), add a bit of almond extract/vanilla and natural sweetner to taste and thicken it (I cook the juice on the stove-top and add a bit of organic gelatin or cornstarch, but you can use agar, and you don't HAVE to boil it to get it to thicken.
--Put the fruit in the pie crust, pour the yummy thickened fruit juice over the top (making sure the juice gets down into the slices of fruit), put it in the fridge to chill...and you can betcher-bippy, he'll eat half of it.
Wallah, two peaches and a banana, down the hatch. And those leftover fresh peaches'll start looking a LOT better to him, too :)
And just like with anyone you're trying to assist to eat better, always adjust things to what they really like. For example, my hubby is a raisin fanatic...so almost anything I make with lots of raisins really gets his attention. You said he likes berries. Hmmm, while organic dried berries ARE pricey, if it'd get him to eating more fruit, then maybe it's worth the price to make some special treats. For example, I just finally found organic tapioca (here http://www.azurestandard.com/
AZURE STANDARD) and by soaking the berries AND the tapioca 'pearls' together in water and adding a bit of sweetner and thickener, you end up with a wonderfully sweet concoction VERY similar to tapioca pudding...but with a fruit 'juice' base, instead of dairy. And it makes a FANTASTIC topping for all types of pancakes and french toast, too. The variations are limited only by your imagination and taste buds :)
Also, it's SO easy to get frustrated and feel defeated, that sometimes we find ourselves sounding like our mothers about the whole thing. And nobody is gonna change their eating habits because "mommy said so", or get excited about food if the underlying message is, "Eat your spinach, it's GOOD for you".
(By the way, I don't consider stuff like this to be 'underhanded' or 'trickery', I expect my spouse to know enough about females -and care enough about me and our relationship- to help motivate me to do good things, in the ways a female needs or likes to be motivated. And I expect the same of myself :)
The other thing that has been an amazing too for me, is to get him interested in all the various 'conspiracy theories'...remembering, we women tend to want to take care of the cave - the nurturing, understanding of the kids, the cooking, the feeding, the "making the nest", and making the nest peaceful and good. Guys (typically anyway) tend to be the warriors, hunters, and protectors. When my hubby started learning and discerning all the various ways the government and "powers that be" were threatening his life, wife, health and safety, he became MUCH more interested and enthusiastic about talking to me about 'my end of the deal'. And of course, in the meantime, I became more much knowledgeable about the issues that were more interesting to him. And eventually, we both kinda 'melded together' and really started being genuinely interested in each others 'stuff' :) If you don't already have it bookmarked or know about it, here's a couple of GREAT sites for starters:
911Truth.org ::::: The 9/11 Truth Movement
The Truth Seeker
Educate-Yourself.org - Natural Healing Therapies, Hidden Science, the New World Order, World Wide Electronic Mind Control, Population Reduction, and possible Earth Changes
How does all that apply to changing one's eating habits? Here's an example:
Reading and learning about 'conspiracy theories' and the REAL reason food is the way it is, can have incredible impact!
Most of know that was not even a disease called diabetes until after they started refining sugar. In fact, the only people that could AFFORD refined sugar were the wealthy/royalty. They actually had 'sugar parties' and used sugar as a drug like cocaine for it's rapid stimulant effect. And then came diabetes. So let's take an imaginary child (say in the 8-12 years old range) that's a total sugar junkie, and we care a LOT about him/her, and we want him to get off the white sugar. And we've tried tempting them with 'good' sugar and fruit; we've cajoled, we've demanded, we've punished...and we've gotten absolutely nowhere (in fact, the whole situation has probably gotten worse, because now the child thinks that you're mean, hates you, and thinks you're trying to take all the fun stuff that he/she likes away forever). So then, somebody else comes along and sits down with the child and a pile of books. And they show him beets and sugar cane, and how sugar looks when it's natural. And they show him pictures of the sugar plantations of old, with pictures of people and children (slaves) being beaten, whipped and brutalized just so the plantation/refinery owners can make a lot of money; and then they show him pictures of the the slave ships, where hundreds of men/women/children were forced into the hulls of ships for weeks on end, without adequate food, water and or sanitation in the tropical weather, because they needed these slaves so they could make more money on sugar. Then that person shows them how it USED to be too expensive to buy white sugar, but when the "big people" found out how addictive sugar was (and how much money they could make) by selling, they figured they could make millions more dollars if they lowered the price and addicted EVERYBODY...not just the rich people.
Then that person shows that child pictures of a healthy pancreas and a diseased pancreas...and pictures of children shooting up insulin, poking holes in themselves with needles several times a day to take their blood sugar. And then, the BOMB! Pictures of people who are blind; in wheelchairs; bedridden with oozing bedsores that won't heal; pictures of rotten, grangrenous legs and feet and pictures of brutal amputations. And let them figure out the rest (grin, kids are SO smart). (Oh, duh me, I totally forgot about the part how the doctors and hospitals make zillions of dollars too, by helping keep people sick).
And you guessed it, that child will NEVER eat sugar again for the rest of their lives...and they'll thank and praise the person that took the time to teach them.
Granted, we adults are not that easily impressed. And we have a storehouse of knowledge already (that REALLY hurts our ego and pride to admit we learned all wrong and need to unlearn). But if we get really interested in a subject (and don't have someone in our face telling us how wrong & bad we are), we're likely to admit the truth to ourselves and start learning even more.
Please don't get me wrong...I'm not saying you've ever acted like the mean evil mother/adult/wife I've portrayed above. I'm just trying to give examples that show how much easier it is to change and learn because of our OWN knowledge and what WE decide we want, than it is to have someone try and change us. :)
Here's a GREAT site for that kind of learning about food in those ways (if you don't already have it or know about it):
Welcome to The Doctor Within
Anyway, that's all I have time for now. Even if my specific ideas didn't 'ring any bells', I sure hope maybe my thinking will give you some ideas or help.