This is the way I always figure things.
It's not my responsibility past the giving part. What people do with it is up to them.
Whatever they do, it can't negate the gesture or the personal blessing you get from the giving.
AND, you never KNOW how very far a kindness can resonate in a person. Even if it might not ring out at that very moment, maybe it takes years...
but it makes a mark, somewhere. I really believe that.
One of my favorite commercials going around these days is the one where one person drops something, another picks it up, that person opens a door for another person, the next person moves a glass from the edge of the table, etc etc. On and on it goes.
Doing good things for other people sends a wave out.
That's all you really need to be concerned about.
Not how big of one, or even how sincere of one.
Just the making of it seems good enough, you know?
But of course you are both right... much better to spend that $10 on another overpriced oil for yourself than to even CHANCE you could be being played...kee-ripes. Heaven forbid someone else should blow it on something you don't approve of.
A giving spirit is VERY RARE these days. Way to shoot it down.