MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, What ... 
2Health
17 y
35,408
† Cross †
I really need some advice on what do to...
Today I had a follow up appointment for my high cholesterol levels.
Everything was FINE, we laughed about a movie, he talked to me for a moment about diet and exercise...and he told me my glucose levels are in the range of diabetic but it is controlled.
THEN we were talking about a precription med that (I'm trying to get off, but he doesn't know that) he was getting aggrivated because has always had great difficulty working a computer due to his dyslexia.
He said "you have two prescription for the same med, I then said, I asked your nurse to call in the script to another pharmacy becaue it was 5 times cheaper and I cancelled the other one, so I don't have 2 available. Then I said "It doesn't matter"
THEN HE YELLED AT ME and said "YES IT DOES MATTER I COULD BE HELD LIABLE FOR THIS" Not my fault, his nurse called in two at two different pharmacy without cancelling one herself. I'm just the patient, Yes?
I was shocked at his rage, and said very calmly, and shyling, "I don't know"
THEN HE SAID LOUDLY AND IN MY FACE!!! "THAT'S IT!! I'M NOT SEEING YOU AGAIN"
Whattttt!!!!
I just said calmly "good" (but I was extremely SHOCKED and started to panic)
Then as we walked out and in front of some medical people (emabarrassingly for me) he said "I'M TRANSFERRING YOUR FILE!! (to who, he just fired me for saying "it doesn't matter" in a calm voice.
His nurse was right there when he went into this rage, and he continued to speak loudly at me, but I was going into a panic that I could not hear his words, is that a protective mechanism??
I then asked a nurse for a formal complain and filled it out...I had a gynocological appointment next at the same place, and I told her about what he said/did.
It turns out the gyno that I saw next is his supervisor (Thank God) and she said he has been a raging maniac for a couple of days, and he has ADD and she spoke witih him about rage before.
She said she definately will have a meeting with him about this, she return my co-payment for the appointment with him due to his verbal abuse toward me and my appointment that had just got started and I really didn't get to talk with him about low cholesterol diet and such. (not that I need him for that at all).
What should I do??? Who do I call to get his license revoked or suspended or can I even sue him for this, I could barely drive home I was so traumatized and embarrased.
I called my insurance company to NOT pay him when they receive the claim for this appointment and told them why. I need to call their billing person and tell them not to submit a claim for that appt. because I will not have my insurance company pay for me being abused along with 1/2 of an appointment.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
2Health
- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... #68716
17 y
32,824
MoreThis is a reply to # 890,422He's being excused because of ADD?!?!?! ROTFLMAOTMNR which translates into: rolling on the floor, laughing my arse off 'til my nose runs
Er...your State Bar Referral Service will have a dozen attorneys that you can consult over this. Make certain that you write down the date, time, EXACT QUOTES, the nurse that you spoke to who apologized, the supervisor's name and HIS/HER exact quotes with regard to your complaint, and take them all to an attorney. This is NOT about money - it's about principal and this doctor should NOT be working with live human beings.
Good luck and post back on how things turned out for you!- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
17 y
32,637
This is a reply to # 890,453Hi Soulfulsurvivor,
Thank you for your reply and advice regarding my now FORMER Doctor's abusive behavior.
I called the Board of Medical Examiners/investigators and told them about what he did, and he said that he will "consider" investigating the Dr. for "unprofessional conduct". I don't know if they will or not, but he asked me for the Dr.'s supervisors phone number, so that is a good sign that some reprimand will be done.
I reluctantly spoke with an attorney specializing in medical malpractice, unethical conduct by a physician, etc. The attorney said that "unless something so severely happened that it would be on the news, then he could be sued, BUT since he didn't physically attack me, or threatening my life, no go.
That's OK, I just don't have the constitution to do anything further, I'm just trying to calm my nerves today and get over this trauma as fast as possible, STRESS KILLS.
I did request my insurance company to not process the claim for that appt. due to his "attacking me" and storming out in the middle of the appt. therefore my appointment wasn't completed. They said they would not process the claim when/if it arrives.
I also called billing at the doctors office and requested that they not submit a claim for that appt. and told her why, she was SHOCKED and was compassionate for me, and assured me she would not submit the claim, or bill me.
So...I guess that's all I can do...apparently it's alright and legal (not ethical) for any doctor to verbally abuse a patient as I was told by the attorney, he told me he has his first ammendment right to freedom of speech, even if it is loud, humiliating and abusive. OH WELL :(
So, at least I "did something" and feel empowered by having the strength to do it, even though nothing may be done, and he most likely will just get away with it.
I am attempting to forgive him, but having a hard time with that. I assume after I calm down, I will be able to forgive and get on with my life.
Thank you again, I so appreciate you guys! :)
2Health- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... #68716
17 y
32,497
This is a reply to # 891,194Well, at least you did SOMEthing - most people wouldn't even go far enough to seek another physician.
We are conditioned in this Western Culture to view medical doctors as dieties. They are seemingly above the Law, above reproach, above ethical scrutiny, etc.
And, you aren't required to forgive anyone for any thing - that is a personal choice which you may (or, may not) choose to exercise.
Best wishes to you!!! - Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... Cinnamons
11 y
22,329
This is a reply to # 891,194I know you feel. My doctor called me up and yelled at me today because he thought it was stupid that I got a second opinion about something. He thought I was wasting precious time when I could have been acting on the advice that he gave me to have a procedure done. He is a good doctor and obviously he was concerned for my welfare. So I am not mad at him. Yours does sound abusive. I think he was concerned that your rx inadvertently having been submitted to two pharmacies by his employee could get him in legal trouble. That is a genuine concern but it obviously was not YOUR fault. Being a doctor is a hard job with tons of responsibility but that does not make it right for him to be abusive to you. I am glad you had the courage to make the complaints that you made. How fortunate that your GYN is his supervisor. If you have taken all the action that you plan to take, try to let it go because holding onto it will just hurt your with stress. What he did was bad. He is only human and it sounds like in addition to being human he has ADD. That does no make what he did right. If you can forgive him at some point that would be kind OF you and also kind TO yourself. Best wishes.
- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... #68716
17 y
32,497
- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
17 y
32,637
- Re: Don't forget to forgive him and ... Naturalist
17 y
32,422
- Re: Don't forget to forgive him and ... banooado
17 y
32,439
MoreThis is a reply to # 890,796And while this will be the last phase of letting go
This kind of break of trust invokes rage!
and there are several steps of anger and healing that
one needs to transit before coming to that spot in the process
And acceptance of all the feelings is part of the process or they will recycle and often they do!
Forgiving for me often is reforgiving when old hurts come up again
When I love and trust someone it's hard to see they are not gentle
with this trust
- Re: Don't forget to forgive him and ... 2Health
17 y
32,638
This is a reply to # 893,505I appreciate your words of wisdom Banooado,
Forgiveness certainly is a must for one's peace, happiness and health, however, there is a time to forgive and there is a time to "act" in defense of ones self and others, and not allow ourselves to be victimized.
I acted by reporting the incident everythere I could. I didn't do this out of vengeance, but out of duty. I would have sued if I could have. Because that is my right, and it is my obligation to society. If you don't report a rapist and just "forgive" won't the rapist have free reign to just keep on raping others?
We have a legal system for a reason.
Once I did "forgive and let go", and trusted God with the issue. Then...to my surprise, I found out last night that, due to previous medical/legal issues stemming from the county's main hospital against them, that office/clinic/organization, will no longer be in "business" as of June 24th this month, less than 2 weeks from now.
Am I a happy about this? No, 50 employees will be out of employment, including the abusive Doctor, and thousands of people, including hundres of women about to give birth will have to seek medical attention elsewhere.
Evidently they have been dishing out poor treatment for a long time, and not abiding by the law on many issues. Other's did "act" and the result is, soon, they will no longer be in practice. A multi million dollar a year medical facility, according to the newspaper article I read.
2Health
- Forgiveness is a personal choice #68716
17 y
32,387
This is a reply to # 893,752For most people, "forgiveness" is difficult because there is a misunderstanding of the process. It is suggested as the only manner of enhancing one's healing process, it's required in some religious interpretations, etc.
For me, forgiveness is the acknowlegment of another human being's human condition - we are (each, and every one of us) flawed, imperfect, and human. Recognizing that does not mean that I have to accept repeated displays of imperfection, particularly when those displays are made in the form of abusive behavior. If someone is having a "bad day," it is their choice as to how they will cope with that fact. They either choose to see the difficulties as challenges to overcome, or an opportunity to inflict verbal, physical, or other damage upon someone else and excuse their actions on their current conflicts.
Medical physicians suffer from the "God Syndrome," where they honestly believe that, via their education, training, and title, they Have All The Answers. They are taught during their years of education and residencies that they are infallible and, if they DO make a mistake, that there are HUNDREDS of legal and administrative methods to ERASE their errors. This confirms to them that they are not only infallible, but that they never need stand accountable for their mistakes - someone else will either take the fall or it will be swept under the carpet and disappear. And, the Laws do not favor the victims of malpractice or abuse, as the original poster demonstrated when the consulted attorney suggested that the matter be dropped due to a lack of long-term affects of the verbal attack.
It all boils down to money and maintenance of status.
- Re: Forgiveness is a personal choice 2Health
17 y
32,285
- Re: Everything in life is a choice. Naturalist
17 y
32,715
R
This is a reply to # 894,4952Health, To forgive him and pray for him does not mean you should overlook the hurt inflicted upon you by this doctor. Whatever forgiveness is , it should not be confused with glossing over the seriousness of a wrong.
"Forgiveness is not denying the reality of our pain. Forgiveness is not letting our offender off the hook. Forgiveness is not unfair.
One of the best reasons for forgiving someone is not what it does for them, but what it does for us. Forgiveness does not mean that you do not set boundaries and take action against the one who abused you.
Unforgiveness is a toxin. It poisons the heart and the mind with bitterness. Those who refuse to let go of offenses risk poisoning their lives and the lives of others around them. I forgive automatically. I will not carry anyone around in my back pocket.
One of the strongest arguments for forgiveness is the consequences of unforgiveness. Frederick Buechner has written: "of the seven deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back-in many ways it is a feast fit for a King. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skelton at the feast is you."
Remember that forgiveness is not synonymus with reconciliation, restoration, or even releasing a person of consequence that might arise from their wrong.
Unconditional forgiveness is Biblical. Just as God refuses to limit His forgiveness, we are not to limit ours. I believe in the Bible and try to live by it. And yes, everything in life is a choice.
May God Bless...- Re: Everything in life is a choice. 2Health
17 y
32,506
This is a reply to # 894,587Naturalist,
Very well said :) I agree wholeheartedly with everything you wrote.
Thank you,
2Health
- Re: Everything in life is a choice. 2Health
17 y
32,506
- Re: Everything in life is a choice. Naturalist
17 y
32,715
R
- Re: Forgiveness is a personal choice 2Health
17 y
32,285
- Forgiveness is a personal choice #68716
17 y
32,387
- Re: Don't forget to forgive him and ... 2Health
17 y
32,638
- Re: Don't forget to forgive him and ... banooado
17 y
32,439
- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... Rabbitears
17 y
32,455
This is a reply to # 890,422Hi!
I can tell you EXACTLY what you need to do to start the process. In every state there is a Board of Medical Examiners. The BME are responsible for making sure that doctors have the proper credentials for practicing. They determine whether or not a physician receives privileges or licensure within their state.
The Board reviews every complaint and take it very seriously (at least where I live).
The Board follows up with the doctor who has to respond to the Board within a certain timeframe. After their investigation, the Board determines if the physician needs therapy, be put on probation, license revoked, etc. With each complaint, filed on the doctor the Board takes this into consideration. You'll won't be informed on how complaints have been filed against him, but the Board keeps records on every complaint.
You need to write a letter of complaint, with every detail -- date, who was present, who you talked to, who said what, etc.
Perhaps the "ADD" doctor needs a good parasite cleanse to release those raging critters! :)
Good luck!
Edit: I saw SS response -- it seems as though you're on track!- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
17 y
32,618
This is a reply to # 894,543Hi Rabittears,
"Perhaps the "ADD" doctor needs a good parasite cleanse to release those raging critters! :)"
That was so funny.
Thank you for your advice!
I did call the Board of Medical Examiners the next day, and they said that "MAYBE" they would call his supervisor, but probably not. And if he does, they couldn't tell me that they did. I got no where with them over the phone.
Sooo, onward and upward!
2Health- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... Rabbitears
17 y
32,265
This is a reply to # 894,546That's correct -- they won't do anything with a phone inquiry.
It must be in writing. I used to work at a hospital and these are the ins/outs of what you need to do for complaints. Written is always taken more seriously.
Be objective and include every detail.- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
17 y
32,402
This is a reply to # 894,549Thank you for the info, I didn't know that, I will fill out their official complaint form right away. Their practice is going to be shut down on July 24th from previous violations from that practice stemming from our main hospital.
But, it would be a shame for this particular Doctor to continue another practice and continue this behavior on other patients, yes, he needs to be investigated.
Thanks again, I'll let you know what what happens.
2Health- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... Rabbitears
17 y
32,258
This is a reply to # 894,556I highly suggest that you don't fill out any forms. Forms allow you to put in the information they is allowable.
Write a letter -- a long one.
Best of luck!- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
17 y
32,402
This is a reply to # 894,557Hi Rabbitears,
Thank you again for your advice. I am having printer problems so I cannot print out the form anyway. I am currently composing a "very long" letter.
Thanks again, I'll let you know what the Board of Medical Examiners do, if anything.
2Health - Writing & sending forms #68716
17 y
32,273
This is a reply to # 894,557I'm in agreement with this suggestion, 100%. An objective, non-emotional accounting is imperative, along with their "standard forms." At the end of the letter, the last paragraph should read something like this, "Dr. Dolittle's behavior made me feel .... and excusing his behavior to ADD/ADHD is unacceptable and inapppropriate."
THEN...when you mail all of this stuff back to the BME, send the whole package through the U.S. Mail as Certified, Return Receipt. It might cost you about $5.00, but it is well worth the money spent - the package will be delivered to the offices and someone will have to SIGN to accept the package. You will receive a green postcard that you addressed to yourself when you sent the package. Attach the postcard to a copy of your letter, the Certified slip, and the receipt that you were given when you sent the package. This makes the whole thing...more legal, I suppose.
Best wishes!! And, I sure hope that they AT LEAST reprimand that dope!- Re: Writing & sending forms 2Health
17 y
32,404
This is a reply to # 895,206I didn't think of that, sending it certified mail, thanks for the tip SoulfulSurviror :) I will definately do that.
Would you mind if I emailed you the letter for your opinion before I mail it off?
Blessings,
2Health
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- Re: Writing & sending forms 2Health
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- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
17 y
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- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... Rabbitears
17 y
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- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
17 y
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- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... Rabbitears
17 y
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- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... 2Health
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- Re: MY DOCTOR VERBALLLY ABUSED ME, W... #68716
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