I agree with Torrie. You sound like a really nice guy but one who for some reason or another has a lot of bitternesss stored up against women. And in this I also agree with the terrifying White Shark from the deep Curezone waters. People who have had a bad relationship tend to reflect the same dysfunctions on everyone else of the opposite sex. It definitely sounds like you have a bum deal. I believe you when you say that you have tried to do everything you can to get this woman to give you some lovin'. If she is not responding then it is definitely time to move on, but that doesn't mean you ought to go on lumping all women together in the same batch of spoiled goods just because you've had bad luck so far. This attitude will continue to sabotage any and every relationship that you have in the future, unless you get rid of it.
One kind of wonders.....why did you marry her in the first place? How long did you know her? Were you really close friends, pals, comrades, partners in crime? Was she someone with whom you were sharing good and bad times, laughter and tears, interests and goals, way before you made the decision to marry, or was she someone with whom you related to superficially and hoped it would work out as a marriage?
Your situation seems really sad, mostly because ultimately neither of you is being honest with the other. She won't open up as to what's really happened, you are making secret plans for your getaway. Sounds like a mutual game of using the other for your own conveniences. Sad, really sad. You both deserve better.