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LuellaMay Views: 5,825
Published: 14 years ago
Status:       R [Message recommended by a moderator!]
 
This is a reply to # 986,452

Re: **NEED ADVICE about marriage


Oh dear, dear.  There is much more involved here than your husband just looking at pictures.  First, you have unresolved anger probably about quite a few things where you probably have also felt betrayed.  This does not appear all of a sudden.  It simmers and builds little by little.  All of a sudden, there are all sorts of problems. 

It seems that more than anything, you are threatened by those perfect young bodies.  Are you also threatened by the lack of sex?  What can you do to set a romantic scene?  Stop the world and go to a lake.  A secluded lake if possible.  Wine him and dine him with a fabulous picnic.  Something romantic.  Get him excited and interested again. That would be my choice.  That is just an example.  But set up something unexpectedly romantic.  Unfortunately, people get used to each other and the intimate part of marriage sometimes suffers.  That's why you can never stop being romantic.  Not ever.  Don't wait for him to do something.  You do it.

First and foremost you need to resolve your past hurts.  Either you can work it out, or you can't.  But as long as there is any unresolved anger about anything, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship.

What other advice would I give you...... Hmmmmm..... There is a reason why those pictures bother you so much.  What is it?  The answer is within you.  Ask yourself that question and then answer it honestly, even if it brings tears to your eyes.  Then work on that aspect of yourself.  Also search for any self esteem or inadequacy issues.

By the way, Christian men are men too.  Men tend to look at beautiful women in bikinis.  One that tells you they don't is lying.

Hugs,

Luella

 

 
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