"Perhaps now that my health is back I can put all that behind me and go back to the love I knew in my youth before the war and being sick. This time I'll be able to see whether they're in it for love or the material things."
That is the right track to be on. You are not getting any younger..get out of your toxic relationship.
Love is a game. We may not like it, but such is life. Some get lucky and find each other with no problem and fall madly in love in one day and live happily ever after.
For most of us..you have to show a little interest, but then when you have their attention, you have to act like you can take it or leave it. It's not easy, it's a fine line, you show too little interest and they don't pursue anything..you show too much and it can turn them off and drive them away. Overall, know that people like confident people. If you approach new love interests and disclose all your woes and shortcomings, it will almost certainly end in failure. Live in the present.
"The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michaelangelo