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love is willing to draw blood in its defense?

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rudenski Views: 1,632
Published: 15 years ago
Status:       R [Message recommended by a moderator!]

love is willing to draw blood in its defense?

"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense." ...but is it really? Love to me is when my baby smacks me in the teeth with a metal object and although I want to scream and strike her...I do much to not inspire fear in her...even less...I cry and tears flow down my face but I say nothing at fact... I turn my head so she will not see my she does not know the accidental injury she gave me...caused me so much pain...

but then...

Have you ever said, I love you but don't like you? I have. I admit it yet I am still searching for love in the unlovable and I often find it way below the surface...I find it but then... that light inside can not sustain itself... I can love a cute field mouse but not like them in my house... I can love everything...but when someone gets out of line...injure them to prevent them from injuring me.... I know I am in a constant battle at rush hour to maneuver my vehicle through traffic and I want to bark out profanities...while in my own mind I say I love everyone... I might also say I don't like their actions... In my opinion this is an internal mechanism that says or tells me that those who are like me are likable and those not like me....worse...not me.....those who cause me discomfort are not likable...

When I speak candidly about my Near Death Experience....I often say things that offend those who are deeply religious and I also offend some irreligious who do not believe as I do...that there is a being out there I often call God... and although I love those that have a narrow God fearing way of thinking about God... when to me.... God is a much more likable being(with no fear whatsoever),,,kind of like how you have a teacher who is going to love you no matter what you do...and you push the envelope...still they show genuine like for me...and I love those who want to say there is nothing out there beyond this life that is not just random... I sense dislike welling up inside me when they pontificate to the nth about things that have already been decided by my NDE. I think I need to come to a place where I approach those in traffic, lovers, the abrasive religious and caustic irreligious.... and find things I like about those not close to my liberal irreverent love loving self... This is my journey...

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