It is a nightmare, but you can get through. I think a lot of us have been through some dark times, I know I have. I wish you well.
One thing you may try, is the SCD yogurt - which is made over 24 hours, and so most of the lactose is gone. There are a number of SCD groups on yahoo, including the official one (BTVS-SCD) where you could get more tips on yogurt making. It is simple once you get started - also http://www.pecanbread.com
have some good information. SCD is just "Specific Carbohydrate Diet," a diet for nearly anyone with a digestive problem.