Molly, I have found that p 0 r n o g r a p h y is one of main issues of deteriorating relationships - what is seen cannot be separated from what is REAL. p 0 r n is nearly always objectifying, risky, demeaning, and nowhere near what actually happens between loving, committed adults. Excellent post and what a neat experience it must have been for you to meet "Linda." My god, but she was horribly abused, wasn't she?
I wish to address the original poster using "Truth in Love" - my response might not be what you want to read, so I'm offering fair warning that any discomfort that you experience from my response to your post is your own responsibility - nobody is forcing you to read my response and you can stop, right now, and continue on your merry way.
Here's a little fact: p 0 r n actors are PAID to say and do the things that they act out on screen or in magazines. Amateur p 0 r n is something different and a by-product of too much diseased sexual activity available to too many people. By "diseased," I mean, "DIS-eased," and that which is not healthy, respectful, supportive, safe, or loving. Most women who engage in a committed relationship do not, will not, and CAN not subject themselves to the kind of anger-based, subjective, dangerous, risky, dehumanizing treatment that is portrayed in p 0 r n o g r a p h y, and that's all there is to it. If you want to get yourself off with someone who has so little respect for themselves as to engage in risky, dangerous, unhealthy sexual activities, who am I to judge? But, when you contract a disease for which there is no cure, I can just imagine your outraged subject title being: "The Bitch Gave Me A Disease!" instead of, "Boy, Was I Stupid."
Rygar, you seem to be going on and on about women, their appeal to you, your appeal to them, and your comparison to what you believe a female should be to what sexually gratifies you - nothing intellectual, definitely superficial, and "all about you" and what you seem to feel entitled to. These females that you're so quick to pass judgement upon are human beings that have lived, loved, laughed, cried, and experienced events that have helped to shape their personalities. These females that you critique with such disdain and conceit are not objects, but flesh and blood that could likely put you to intellectual shame if you gave them half a chance. Once again, they are not OBJECTS, but the same species as you with emotional capabilities. Getting high and/or drunk doesn't absolve you from treating women in the manner that you apparently do (judging ONLY by your posts and responses). You're either deliberately posting inflammatory content or you truly believe what you're posting. Which is it, I wonder?
Again, I suggest that you look into NPD, particularly somatic NPD, if you are, indeed, posting what you honestly believe. Depending upon your courage, you may find things that correlate with your personality as it has been portrayed on these forums. After that, what you choose to do or not to do is entirely up to you. You can continue living in your superficial "All About Me" universe, or you can join the human race and allow your Self (that Life's Spark that makes you unique) to feel human emotion. It's a choice, not an absolute.