It's all a matter of what you want, not what others might want for you.
For me, it came down to a choice: will I continue to live my life in my own status quo, waking up miserable, fearful, and feeling less than worthy of life, OR will I facilitate changes that make me feel worthwhile, dependable, able to love (agape), and walk in harmony. It's not about finding a "fix." If ONLY it were that simple!
We don't "fix" but we mend as best as we can and move on to possibly assist others or bring light and joy to others. At times, I still bump those scars and they might open up for a bit, but the emotional scar tissue has healed over many, many times and it gets easier from time to time. For me, it was learning that there were others out there who were in worse condition than I was, allowing myself to be humbled by that fact, and appreciate every moment that I've lived - taking the good and the bad and the seemingly benign events as a whole to form who I continue to evolve as.
There are things that are worth fighting for and individual contentment and self-acceptance are two of them. My gut feeling is that you want to find your Self, Rygar, but the Road to Salvation can appear terrifyling daunting if we try to see as far down the road as humanly possible. One step at a time gets us to where we want to go and that's how recovery and healing is accomplished. One step at a time.