Silly Rygar... you're talking about you don't know what someone would find attractive in you and talking about your looks and other BS that might attract them. That might also attract, dunno, never saw u, but I am in a way attracted to you online, to your personality. You're a smart ass in a fun sort of way and I think you'd be a blast to hang out with (minus that whole alienating part of course... which kind makes it a moot point). I'm also attracted to both your intelligence and quirkiness... if nothing else, you're amusing & not boring. So with me it's not your looks, obviously. You yourself said you have some sort of mysterious charisma. Plus you've mentioned how you can sense things in other people - maybe they can also sense things in you. You talk about traits that have enabled you to be successful, perseverance and a certain characteristic strength... maybe they notice that.
Women are drawn to strength and confidence. Rather it seems to me that you may be looking at your bad traits and rationalizing to yourself saying 'why would they be attracted to me, I'm so moody/inaccessible/fill-in-the-blank'. Why talk yourself out of a good thing - your own appeal? Hey, just enjoy it I say! It really does seem like you want to talk them out of being attracted to you, lol.
I believe our circumstances have been set up a particular way quite deliberately for us to learn something. Think about this: you tend to alienate but people are drawn to you. They will be and you will always have some power to manipulate or learn to love. Some people alienate and no one notices them; they have a different situation. This situation is optimal for you to learn whatever it is that is most vital for you to learn in your life right now. That's going into my own spiritual belief but hey, it may be a handy perspective for you now. Either way, regardless of the "why's" of it, it IS. And you recognize it. Now what will you do with it???