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Maybe I'm just being selfish?
hopelessminx Views: 5,188
Published: 15 years ago

Maybe I'm just being selfish?

I'm a 22 yr old male and I've been with my girlfriend since sept 24 '07. I could say this is my first REAL relationship.. Although I've had somewhat of a sexual relationship with my first love, it never really went all the way.. I was single for a few years after her, and now I'm with my current girlfriend.. Anyways, my girlfriend has had lots of bf's in the past, so yea she's had her fun... and I'm in my prime ready to get to business, and now that I have someone I truly like I wanna get down if you know what I mean...

I am confident I can give her what she needs emotionally in this relationship as I am a caring, strong, loyal man...well, I like to think myself as one. (I'm a cancer, is it in the stars? Hehe) but yea, certain things do bother me about my girl - for example, my girl is probably the most unhealthy person I've ever met..I've never known anyone who drinks diet coke more religiously than her... btw she's like 100-110 lbs (which I guess is normal for a 4'11 chinese female?) nevertheless, she fits her clothes very well, and I find her very attractive. Ok but whatever! She's always sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How I've tried and tried to feed her knowledge..all which I've absorbed from my research. "Drink more water; baby, drink this tea. Baby, diet coke is bad for you, eat this orange." Aaaaaaah! Its this simple, I don't wanna be with a sick girl. I keep myself healthy and strong, why can't she do the same!? :[ This sucks...ok but this isn't all that bothers me. Recently, she's gotten an UTI.. So we havnt really been having sex lately...regardless, before the UTI the sex declined in terms of how much we were engaging... so I mentioned I felt I had blue balls, and she told me "you're always horny."

I said nothing, but in my mind I was like, "oh yea easy for you to say, you f***** a shitload of motha truckas already, so yea I'm sure you're not as horny anymore..." ok so that pissed me off..but I didnt mention it, as I don't wanna upset her; I do respect her. She's admitted to me, that she's had anal sex before twice, and that she didn't like it. Ok well if you don't like something the first time, why let some douche bag do it again? (I guess its an 'in the moment' type of thing?) but yea, we would walk into a p 0 r n shop and anything that had to do with anal sex, she would let me know, "that's something we'll never do." Now I'm not saying I want anal sex as its never really been my thing, (maybe cuz I've never done it?) but I do not like the fact she automatically gives me the rejection card for anal entrance. She said its a 1-way hole... but yea, that's not what her ex's found out... but ok whatever!

Its almost like I'm jealous of her ex's... sometimes I feel like I'm just another fool in a long list of names... she's told me that in most of her relationships she's been the one the break it up; apart from her last ex which cheated on her - supposedly he said he loved her and she didn't say it back, he got mad blah blah blah...her longest relationship was a year and a half... no *bleepin* wonder! Ok so we've been goin almost 5 months now, and I know that is no big deal. But she recently told me she loved me at a party, which I never bring up because I was 'supposedly' too drunk to remember ;]

I am no fool. but I must really be somethin if she tells me this in such short time of being together....ugh I don't know. I have so many thoughts and can't really express it all. Why would I want to stay with someone so worn out? I can tell she's really into me, but somethings I just don't find fair. "I want sex but your too sick to engage? Ok so let me help you get better. what's that? You don't like to drink water cuz it has no taste?" You gotta be kiddin me. How can I, this year of the ox, man of power and love stay with a small, year of the rabbit, fast paced, diseased partner...

I'm not gonna give up on her...not yet atleast...... ....don't get me wrong I'm wit her for a reason though. Even though I asked her out based on looks, looks alone don't matter now it seems.

She's a very sweet young lady..goes to school has 2 jobs (as do I so we can only see each other at night or weekends) and yea she's not cheap at all. Sociable, loveable girl.. Soo am I being reasonable? Or am I being a 1-way anus? Sorry for the long post if my thoughts jump everywhere...I'm hay-wire.


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