Either you are dabbling in creative writing for all of our amusement (and your own) or you are in need.
If this is really you, you cannot fix this on your own. You are lost my friend. A very intelligent man, but a man that is just crying out for some help.
You are young. Get it fixed now, and you will be good to go. Get it fixed and you can have that long term, committed relationship with an intelligent and beautiful woman (or man). Otherwise you are pissing in the wind.