I can't do this anymore... I really cannot handle the pressure being around
her and trying to work,I can't concentrate and I am forced to ignore her.
It pains me because I wanted her soo damn badly before and now it's like what the heck is the point? I am incapable of caring about anyone other then myself,I do
feel guilty about all of this,I should have never began seducing her so intently
in the first place thinking that I was so into her and everything.If the feelings
that come about from thinking about someone are a good indicator of your feelings
for them ,than all she makes me feel is horrible and badly for all I have done,I know poor me right? but then again,she is better off without me for I know for a
fact I will only hurt her evenmore.What have I done? I wanted her soo badly and now
it's like what the hell>?>? I just don't understand how I could shift from being
totally consumed with desire,I mean,intense desire for someone and then swing to the
opposite side of the coin to not even giving a rats ass,I am horrible because I planned everything out,covered my tracks and yet she still thinks there is a possibility for more when there is no chance in hell for me.I messaged her
back a few times joking with her and trying to smooth things out but I still
have a feeling she thinks I am interested.