Somewhere back in your original posting, maybe even page 1 of the forum(will check later) I remember reading and sensing that each individual is vital to the whole; integral to the whole; that when we err/choose foolishly/don't keep our contract, there is a great deal of need to "rearrange" things, "tinker" with them. That carried me through a tough time back then, that the tiny things I do right are part of a larger picture, and if I mess up, I alter many complex things. An NDE person I met in my college years tried to explain it in feminine cooking terms: we are part of a recipe, and even the tiniest pinch of salt is important for the final dish. But regarding our relationships, even the unselfish love relationships, the ones in which we do most of the giving from pure love for someone else--I wonder if there isn't an element of needing to spread love(not the buzz word co-dependency), needing to give love just because the world is so barren of it; and in the presence of Yah/Love perhaps we can love, finally, without the yearning to give and receive it. Maybe it's just a language thing.// Know that when you first posted your NDE (maybe you could reference that for newcomers) it gave my life a new energy in a low period. Stay the course, i knew. This is temporary.