your post is very helpful, heading in the right direction to give me some real help out of the situation.
I am glad you discarded the abuse option , b/c it was actually off topic here.
I am sure that Gilda, despite her annoying style, had the best intentions. However it is you, sandover , that pointed out the real issues, which are more about myself than about my daughter.
I often found myself denying the obvious when confronted about my tiredness, the confusion in my house, or my daughter being a mommy-junkie.
I have also refused to see the truth during 2 years of stubborn devotion to the Raw Vegan diet, which eventually resulted in various problems and deficiencies.
Sometimes it's difficult to see the bigger picture on the screen when you're stuck in your tiny pixel. And somehow, while sticking to guru's and experts' advices, I did not trust other people around me enough to accept their wisdom and knowledge and their honest observations about me.
I know perfectionism is the real culprit here, there and everywhere in my life ( not only in my parenting) and hopefully I will start another thread on this subject on another forum, when I'll have the time.
hope you have a great day and thanks for your precious time