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Re: 25 year old male virgin and feeling hopeless
Pyrrhic Masochy Views: 14,828
Published: 14 years ago
This is a reply to # 533,735

Re: 25 year old male virgin and feeling hopeless

I have a similar problem: 25, no girlfriend, no dates. I don't have a confidence issue, but I am brutally honest with others and also myself. I know I'm not the best-looking guy on the planet (I've been told oppositely by many), but I know my fears, and one of them is highly unexplainable: I have no problem interacting with people or being social. I've been to bars and everywhere I go I can chat it up and make new acquaintances and friends, men, women, old, young, white, black, Asian... I have no problems with this. It's a completely different story once I notice (or likely think) a gal is interested in me. I instantly wig out internally, looking for the nearest escape route to get away so I can clear my head, although I am usually polite about it.

I'm generally very collected and composed around people and even women whom I share no interest with, but it seems once interest comes into play I'm a frightened little mouse running for his cubbyhole. I used to think maybe it had something to do with fear of intimacy because I have been severely wronged in the past by those who claimed to be my friends. Sometimes I think I'm just afraid of sex, of the physical intimacy, but I highly doubt that. I've been told this is nothing new for anyone, that this is simply twitterpation and that it comes to pass, but does infatuation cause people (esp. guys) to run? That seems to be a fight or flight reaction, and I'm not known for fleeing.

Someone said here to just do what makes you happy and let love/dating/sex happen. It's good advice, and I've followed it most of my life... I don't know if it's the right technique anymore. Maybe it's just impatience, I don't know. All I know is that this fear is the most intense feeling I have ever had in my life, and it's due to attraction/love/lust/twitterpation.

Halp? Advice plz?

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