I loved your story, it was fascinating.
For your hemorrhoid problem you might want to try Boiron homeopathic "Hamamelis", I have had great results from this. Also there is a pretty good Hylands Homeopathic combination remedy for hemorrhoids too. I have also used a Chinese medicine formulated for hemorroids, cant remember the name but it is in the catalog from East Earth Trade Winds. It worked fabulously in just a couple of days, and they never came back.