Headcase...you edited your post again!!! (I'm smiling right now)
That damn 'edit' function! Okay okay, you're allowed. I am such an UN-editer...I can't edit any of my thoughts or words because I think: okay...it came out like that, that's what I was thinking and feeling at the time...gotta leave it.
But I see you are tempted to go back in when you feel a different way and change your thoughts-feelings! (you're allowed, I'm just bugging you, aren't I...)
Well, anyway, I'm glad I caught your unedited version...(I just read this edited version of your post and am laughing again! How could you take out all the juicy parts!? hehheh)
Okay, I'll stop the ribbing...
Headcase!! I am totally going to miss your honesty and sense of humour...I do feel really connected to you (perhaps we share a mental-ness). If you feel like it ever, you can email me (just go to my website and scroll down to the bottom for my email address) - I'd love to hear from you.
I'm so glad you got that job and that you plan to stick with it - ride out the possible ups and downs...it sounds like a good idea for you....I liked your description of sitting in the basement on your lunch break...
Anyway, I can't remember everything you said in those wiped-out posts (I wasn't able to catch your DREAM post unfortunately!! That would be the most telling of all...Do you think it's a significant one? Do you have an inkling what it means yourself? You can email it to me if you want)
So...I guess this is me almost leaving Curezone (I'm not even going to read Curezone stuff while I'm away...)....I'll talk to you soon - and hang in there!
Also...re: your mental state: I think you are a healthy young man who is questioning and seeking (perhaps you remind me of me a bit...? hmmmm) and doing it carefully so as not to be duped - I think it is admirable. I am a little High and Low myself...just remember that when you're in the low there is another High around the corner....I'm not sure that I was made for flat-lining..or maybe I'm not mature enough to balance and moderate my emotions/feelings....who knows! But...just keep feeeeling...and exploring and discovering...follow your interests (who knows - if you're a 'big weirdo' (as me and my friends like to call ourselves) at the water cooler...perhaps you will help others bring their inner big weirdo out of the closet! haha)...you are going to be just fine!!!