Re: when I was 17

Dear jan90,

I didn't hear/read any bitterness in your post. I'm not saying that you are comfortable with what has happened to you, I'm saying that I didn't HEAR or see any evidence of "BITTERNESS". This absence of bitterness means that you are HEALING NOW, not completely about everything yet, but take notice that you/"SELF" are already healing.

It is important for you to notice that you are a 'SURVIVOR' person that now has a 'survivor's wisdom'/INSIGHT (you truly understand the significance of a person's pain and suffering).

It probably won't be too long before you are able to offer other people helpful advice, but hold off until you are strong enough and have gotten a handle on your own recovery. You have to first realize that you have suffered many injustices.

You have done nothing to deserve mistreatment (no one deserves to be mistreated). Sure, there are things (scars) that you will not brag about in public, but you have done nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

I'm 55 and have suffered 51 years of suicidal depression, so I know what it means to be demoralized/dehumanized and what it means to be a survivor that has not sunk/retreated into bitterness. Of course a person who suffers misfortune unjustly should be given the "SORROW" kind of pity TEMPORARILY, but anything more is demeaning/belittling of YOU/SELF and makes them weaker (they become "cry babies" and primadonnas).

A "SURVIVOR" who has stayed strong enough to remain themselves without constantly requesting everyone's pity ('primadonnas' become BITTER, true survivors become BETTER) become a better "SELF" (stronger person).

In manners of speaking, many people who haven't survived/endured any misfortunes will say that your life has been "ruined", but you know that it HAS NOT, you are STRONGER than that and WILL ADJUST (you are a true SURVIVOR, not a weak primadonna). They will also say that you will "never forget". Of course you aren't destined for amnesia (you're not going to actually lose your memory), but with a strength like yours, you will "adjust" and be 'at peace' in your recovery. Never label yourself or think of yourself as "forever" sad/depressed (because YOU 'self-heal'). Don't underestimate yourself.

Regular people limit themselves by using "labels" and they are 'fragile', but you are a true survivor and self-heal (your body/mind repairs itself),...you feel the 'SENSATION' (not 'PAIN') of self-healing. Be strong.

Many people are shallow, so you won't find too many guys that can feel comfortable seeing your scars. Learn to recognize that "shallowness" before it gets to the bedroom, and then find a guy who is not shallow, you are too profound not to have a conflict with a shallow person.

When you start to 'come to grips' with your own pain and suffering, then you can start offering your insights to others (helping people is very good therapy) and you may even find that this is what you want to do as a career (you could probably soon help here at Curezone when/if you are comfortable/ready).

Tweet