How are you feeling after all this input? I hope you are feeling more certain of forgiveness.
I read a few of your messages. Reading between the lines, it seemed like you are really searching for why you are so sick and not living in victory. Maybe I am just projecting questions I struggled with in my own journey towards intimacy with God and healing. I can only share what I have learned and hope that something in it will help you.
God has priorities he is looking for in us and they are pretty basic key principles that take time to develop in our lives.
1. love the Lord. trust is part of love. trust is like faith.
2. seek him with all your heart.
3. serve him through evangelism, and or use the gifts of the spirit to support his church.
When I spend time everyday listening to a sermon and some music and talking to God the negative thinking in my head gets better.
When I share the good news with others God talks to me. He promises to take care of me. This is a real stretch for me to do and I am struggling to find ways to do that. Life is so much better when you come into agreement with his priorities. You are right to ask the question what do I have to do to find his favor. When you find your way to be in love with him and to serve him you will receive his favor. Your way may look different than mine.
When you move towards God opposition can come and we have to fight through by keeping to our daily practice and confronting negative thoughts. Feed yourself on his word. Put on the armor of his truth- you are loved and your salvation is assured. believing anything else is to get out of agreement with the kingdom of God. The only safe place for a christian is moving ever closer to God through his word and intimacy with Jesus.
We are not our thoughts. Our thoughts are not wise. Our mind is not our friend and it is not a safe place. We have to seek to manage our minds. Especially when illness makes us vulnerable. Watch your thoughts and see how our minds can contradict themselves and then remember you are the observer not your thoughts.