Thanks for the quote Vertek,
It is so often true that we seek harder when we are hurt. I once wrote in my thesis for grad school that the road to god is pain. What a sad thought. I no longer think that this is THE road or God's plan for us to reach him. But when we aren't reaching him in other ways it sure does reconnect us when trouble comes. I have been there plenty but I am trying to find other paths like daily praise that leads to the joy of the lord. prayer and meditation. these can be dry or they can be rich. Again I am contemplating the role emotion plays in allowing the spirit to take over, and whether my path of cool rationalism has been a stumbling stone in my path towards being an expression of God through relationship to God.