Its great to hear of your breakthrough. The flesh is hard to kill off, especially around money/security. Surrendering to God no matter what is an awesome thing. And one we will have to do with each decision we make. I am sure we have all had discomfort over surrendering all. I know it has been a real dance for me. Breaking down my need for financial security I find an underlying secondary need to look okay to others. The flesh wants us to believe that it is our life. But God promises up a life that is everlasting with many blessings through our walk. Life without the hope of a supernatural God working through me does not appeal even if the flesh florishes in that life.
Surrender all. Of course I also know that God wants us all to walk in victory as well and pray for healing and well being. But not at the cost of not being what God wants me to be. This part of life is necessary to move me closer to God's plan. Perhaps unconscious resistance created the need for this.
I've tried to look at why I cling to the need for my home. I have lived in one room flats and been content. I believe it has so much more to do with self-esteem and I am okay because I can handle my finances. The little kid in me who always wants to look like everything's okay.
So looking Okay all the time is a big thing with me and suffering for Jesus pokes at that part of my flesh.
I wonder what gets poked at in other people? Killing off the flesh takes along time. Fortunately we have God's promise in Luke 18 above of blessings in more abundant measure than those things we give up for the lord's sake. Persecution is a part of every life, there is no way to avoid it. We can face it with the prince of peace to help us. We can battle not against flesh but against Kingdoms, powers and principalities, we can believe for God's love, abundance, and many blessings. Stress does not come from events but through our thoughts. The Christian walk requires mastery over our thoughts. Our minds are not our friends.
If I could walk with the Lord each day, see people who are suffering be healed of it and hear his voice caring over us all, that would be a great deal of joy. When these things have happened he is so real he takes my breath away. Yet still there is a hunger to live in the denial most people live in. The belief that they will always be able to provide for themselves. Being ill has taken that away, and in its place is what has always been true, that my life is in God's hands. that he is my Jehovah Jira, my provider.
When we struggle with the flesh then we must pray for God's gift of supernatural faith, for through faith all things that are of God's plan are made possible. If we seek him, then we can know his plan and be in agreement with it at least some of the time. He wants to tell us.