It seems from the length and tone of your post that I have hit a nerve. If that is true, I do hope you are able to bring that to God and seek his comfort and will. I join Vektek in her appreciation for all you have done of over the years to take care of "your baby". It sounds like it is serving some people and so you can take that to heart.
Its not for me, at this time.
I am surprised at your statement that I have not replied to your question. I have replied each time that you have written. You may not feel that what i wrote was valid, but I have stated my feelings.
As far as what I would change, I have written about that very specifically in my posts. No need to repeat again. If you aren't hearing it, your not hearing it.
Its important to me to respect my own sense that what I need is not here. When I recognize that a place isn't a safe place for what I express, then I have to decide if there is an opportunity for ministry and then follow Gods leading as to how to proceed. At this time, I do not feel any leading to continue in this forum. Other than the things God showed me for Vektek, I have no other input from him for anyone here. She isn't willing to hear it right now, and I am not willing to post it in a way that might feel uncomfortable for her.
God bless you all and thanks for all the exchanges here. I have no issue with anyone personally and continue to have respect for everyone who has posted on this forum, despite any differences in approach to God. We are all seeking his face. As God leads I will follow and if he leads me here I will follow.