I also feel some of what your saying too .I think how in the world am i going to tell people about the goodnes of God when i smell so bad ?
My faith in God is strong because i know he is the same God that heald the women that bleed for 12 years and he is the same God that spit on some dirt and rub it on the blind mans eyes and now i could see .He is the same God that told the man that sat by the gate to get up and walk God is still the same today as he was back thin .
you got to keep prayin and dont let the devil keep talking to you when you have thoughts of killing your self thats the devil talking to you jesus said i come so that you will have ever lasting life john 10.10.
And i will tell you the same dont give up on God one thing i have seen and understand while we are up set because our life has been alterd somebody else thats dieing with cancer or aides or even blind or cant walk would trade places with us. Is this the life i want to live ?KNOW but im sure it could be worse so while i have breath in my body im going to praise God and give him all the Glory !.
With out faith it is imposSible to please GOD hebrews 11.6 i have it bad just like you and i am not about to give up. Situations like this makes your bond with God strong because all you do is talk to him about whats going on with your body and how your are sick of people talking about you and how tired you are of thinking about it and you just want some rest in your mind body and spirt .
God always do what man cant do he said i will not share my glory with know one Isaiah 42.8 read Isaiah 48.11 his rep is on the line when it comes to use he's not going to fail hang in there ! im praying for us all. We will make it!. God bless you and my he restore peace in your mind and your life IN the NAME of JESUS !