I have exactly that behaviour, that need, those feelings you display. What can I add Yoe. I am about to get exhaustively checked via testing and will post back here the discoveries. And more important im gonna tackle the gut and methylation, thats the key.
Its actually 1:50 AM as I write this lol.
But you know, when I see photos of the last year or of two years ago... I look worse. I think all this NB, healthy living, coffee enemas and changing my mind from negativity (incredibly HARD work, like tearing a part of your identity in the process) are paying off...
I mean I always say I feel worse, but then, I remember how f***ed up I was the last year, how hysterical, crazy and clouded I was. So I would say its a process. Dont beat yourself for your sleeping habits, at least we sleep. Some Chronic-Fatigue-Syndrome people dont even sleep 8 hours straight. I know of a woman that at the beginning of her illness couldnt sleep at all for two weeks.
To sleep at 12 pm to 9 AM I would need to take psych meds like Benadryl every night and I prefer my dysfunctional but not poisonous way of sleeping. Its temporal, as when I fix my gut and methylation, the serotonin-melatonin cycle should be fixed as well(maybe I will start taking melatonin again?)...
Who knows, my worst problem its a very deep Depression nowadays. Its insane how you go from maddening physical pain to maddening psychological suffering :D Some times I feel like im one of the favourite monkeys of God for saying so XDD
Oh and yeah definetely I think we have screwed cortisol or something I also feel less dead at night. Even appetite appears, while during the day it hadnt. My body its quite erratic.
Finally reading trough your posts I also have serious problems getting of the bed, it can take one hour or more.
I only know this shit its gonna be cleared by me... im so close, want to have answers to WHY im sick and HOW to cure. But the Depression its strong, maybe stronger than ever. The battle its getting to the pinnacle of intensity and I am tired. But wont give up yet... Wont. I need to find something meaningful to me or I will be lost though. I feel like nothing really makes me wanna stay alive and there is where danger lays. Used to think in my family, some vague dreams of trips, adventures and women, videogames, books... but not sure nowadays... The deeper layers of healing and sickness are mental/spiritual, make no doubt of it.