I can fully relate, I have cried a river of tears, just when I think I have made progress, ha there they are back, sick of being sick. Trying to stay positive is all consuming. Feel like just loosing the plot crawling in a ball and rocking back and forward!! I don't have the energy to fight anymore. Down to 52kg and 5 ft8. My kids, my husband all suffer not being able to do anything to help me. There is not much I haven't done to try and heal myself, it would be great to be able to help others. Hard when you can not even help myself. You are not alone, i'm sending you a big hug. I just take deep breaths and try and just stay in the moment. If I go dither than that it seems hopeless. But with hopelessness comes hope. Best wishes and many blessings.