Re: Would anybody be able to say this really helped them?
Iíll try to give you a list of all the symptoms I can think of.
I was ok for the most part until about 6 months ago. Around that time I had some majorly stressful events take place that really affected me. To start off everything, I had two episodes resembling panic attacks in that I had chills and a horrible feeling of dread accompanied by nervousness and an urge to cry. After that I started having problems sleeping and would wake up at 7 or 7 30 am with a feeling of overwhelming dread that would go away as the morning wore on. There was also this gripping sensation around my solar plexus and heart areas that felt like somebody was grabbing each area and crushing them. I also suspect I have candida since I have foot fungus and a bit of a white coating on my tongue.
Another weird thing I had was tha my scrotum would occasionally tingle, sometimes randomly and sometimes when I was anxious.
My ED was always a little but it has definitely gotten worse since then. My cold hands and feet were also around and may have gotten a bit worse since.
Psychologicallly I have been a bit of a mess. I started to develop ADHD like symptoms. My mind always felt like it was racing but I couldnít grab on to the thoughts. I became horrible at listening to people and could not engage someone in a conversation because it was too stressful. I put off doing pretty much anything because I could not handle stress, and procrastinated on doing everything I did get around to doing. My jobs I did were always half done and never finished. I couldnít read a book anymore because I was always skipping ahead and couldnít concentrate on what I was reading. My short and long term memory were both terrible, and I was constantly losing things. I got very irritable and would get very upset over little things. I always felt very trapped in the moment, like I was way too aware of my surroundings.
Something that has been particularly annoying and I feel detrimental is this feeling of pretense I have/have had. It makes everythin I do feel fake. Itís like my mind is trying to plan out everything that is happening or will happen so I never get to experience it. I would be planning exactly how I would greet someone and when I did meet them everything I did in that conversation with them did not feel real.
After about two months I started having hot flashes after I ate something. I suspect this is due to hypoglycemia or trans fat intolerance, Iím not sure which. The example I can give is one day I had a hot chocolate after not eating for about 5 hours and after 10-15 minutes I started getting hot flashes, feeling really uncomfortable and almost sweating. Also about a week ago I had some fried food and the same thing happened.
My joint problems have also started more recently, maybe in the last two months, but I worry about those. Right now itís just my joints popping quite often, but I worry that it could lead to joint pain in time. It already does if I run.
So nowadays after trying various supplements as well as Iodine
(which I feel has been very helpful) I feel maybe 30-40% better. Memory has improved quite a bit. I have more energy some days. I can read and relax again
So I feel a bit less than ok right now. Iím not looking to feel great or good though, or even happy. I just want to be able to make new friends and reconnect with the people I lost and have some sense of connection to people and to the world again. I lost the feeling of comfort around people that got replaced by some kind of processing unit that is always planning ahead what Iím going to do and looking or threats. I really miss all the people I used to have in my life and I really want to reconnect with them but I canít and thatís what hurts the most about all this. Itís like Ive the lost the ability to appreciate and love people.
If you feel like going through this and trying to figure it out I really appreciate any input. Also if anybody knows any meditations that work to calm that part of the mind that seems so frightened and controlling I would love to try them out. Thanks people for any input.
P.S. Unfortunately feo I don't think the apartment is possible.