It seems like you don't respect or truely care for yourself, only when we have true compassion for ourselves can we have true compassion for others. Happiness comes from within us not from those around us. Guilt is useless will not fix the situation only eat away at us. Regret and renunciation will see it through. You are not a bad person, your behavior was wrong, big difference. No one is inherently bad, just sometimes we emotions cause us to behave in an unacceptable manner. This will all pass. Everything changes moment by moment. Just don't get stuck in a past moment. It's gone and can only be reflected upon to help us not create the same problem again. Best wishes.