Having read your post, here is what I have to say:
First of all, it is understandable that you feel bitter. I, too, grew up in a home where I wasn't always treated well. So I know what it is like to feel anger and bitterness about the situation.
That said, you need to find a way to move on. You will never forget what happened to you but you do need to deal with it. Going through life constantly feeling bitter and angry will eat away at you.
Here is what I suggest you do --- You need to go back to Canada. Actually, it surprises me at how many times you returned to Mexico. For one thing, you kept returning to your toxic family. I understand that when you were a minor, you didn't have many options. However, you are an adult now and have freedom of movement. Also, why stay in Mexico when you would have better quality of life in Canada?
Work what ever jobs you can find and save up some money to not only get you to Canada but to have a temporary place to stay once you are there. Not only will you make more money but you will have better access to counseling. If you find that you can't get past the anger and bitterness, counseling ---- with a good counselor --- will help you.