I looked for your pics and couldnt find them but Im new on this forum and still finding my way around it. First a bit of advice, be positive. See this as an opportunity for change, take back your control. Look for healthy cautious ways to cure yourself of parasites. You are very descriptive but in a morbid introspective way. Thats often linked to profound depression. You have a wonderful gift. .a human body that no man can create or uncreate. A gift from the creator for an expression of creative love and will. Dont ever underestimate that gift. Now use positive mind focused energy and guided imagery and see your self cured. Send this out and your desire to be healed by whatever mechanism will manifest. Believe. Choose a harmless seamless integration of of arriving there. ..and you meet that. Now give another link so I can look at your "morbid pics". Maybe I can help.