My heart goes out to you, I haven't had the same problems with my health but have had the same thoughts as you in the past. When no one understands what you are going through, and no words can express just how terribly miserable you are and you can't get a doctor to REALLY LISTEN to you and not think you need a shrink, our thoughts will often be at their lowest peak.
I have been doing parasite cleansing for two years now and I am still full of these critters. BUT I must be cleaning out my brain fairly good because for about the past 6 months I have not been depressed like I was in the past where I didn't want to live anymore. I was starting to get MS, doing the parasite cleanse over the past two years has reversed these symptoms. I also felt like a dead person, rotting on the inside, in a zombie state, the strange thing was no one around me noticed just how miserable and out of the living I really was.
I don't know how I can help you other than to suggest parasite and candida cleanses. These both take over our bodies, when in the brain they control our thinking and actions. Liver and Bowel Cleanses help reverse symptoms, aches and pains. There is wonderful information on this site and in the books from Hulda Clark . Please give this a try, you have nothing to lose except bad health and pain. And once again you can have ~sweet life~....