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My Own Article about SUICIDE and HOW to Stop.. On Time..
rudenski Views: 3,459
Published: 7 years ago
This is a reply to # 2,217,745

My Own Article about SUICIDE and HOW to Stop.. On Time..

It is tough knowing there and staying here... but here is where we are... We are God's playthings and of course God would not want His playthings to die... Quit before our plan is run... and that is what ran through my mind for years...
but that is not the whole story about suicide. Suicide is not just killing yourself. Suicide is like one of those IED's they use in suicide bombing only a Depression incited suicide kills those we love. The hurt of suicides even carries on from generation to generation. Once it starts in a family... there is always a chance that even distant cousins will kill themselves because they heard you did... Suicide should not be an option...

We each have a basic plan we agreed to before we were born. So many lives are entwined and weaved into our plan and their plans. The NDE's of suicides are by far and away the most likely to be negative NDE's...

I had a great grandmother, who in her 90's, would sit in a chair and say, "I want to die", "I want to die"... over and over... She did finally die but when I was in huge pain... for years... I started saying the same thing.. hundreds of times a day some-days...

I won the battle of fighting that voice by realizing it was not me but rather my great grandmother's voice trapped in a part of my brain where other ugly statements about myself were stored. Those words that were converted from you are stupid changed to the inner trapped voice that said
"I am stupid." All people hear negative sayings echoing in their heads and sometimes this can motivate us to change but if we embrace those words and begin repeating them then
it may end with suicide as the only option to stop the sayings. I won. I finally stopped the repeated negative sayings by talking back to the voice. I would say something like... Yes... I want to die but if I am going to live then this is my plan to make staying here tolerable... and I would give steps with positive affirmations... 1) I am not going to be so tough on myself. 2) I am going to get up out of bed and walk around the block. 3) I am goiung to find a reasons to laugh. 4) I am going to eat something really.

And when I failed to meet those goals and the saying came back, I would talk back to it again and say... " I realize I did not follow my plan but I did do some of the things I said... I found a reason to laugh... " I would then come up with things to add to my plan... and when I failed... I would go back to number 1) Dont be too rough on myself...
I continued fighting against the sayings and some 25 years later... I still get the sayings but they dont repeat themselves over and over... I realize those saying were meant... even if done so in a cruel way... to motivate me to change... The loop is gone...

I hope that helps someone

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