I did it! After a year of constant agony, endless laxatives, and the development of huge painful hemorrhoids, I finally cured my IBS-C. I had my father defecate into a tupperware container, blended it with a cup and a half of distilled water and squirted it into me with a rectal syringe and left it overnight. The next day the stomach pains were gone and I could poo without hardy pushing at all!
The only side effect was some initial inflammation of my intestines, which subsided after an hour and some kidney pain the next day, which I assume is the result of the war that was happening in my gut.
The intestinal pains are gone and I can go poo again! Hallelujah!