I Just need to tell someone how I'm feeling and I though here to be a better place than any.
My problem started about 5 years ago when I started to suffer with migraines that lasted for days on end. This went on for a while and caused me to loose my first "real" job. The doctors tried all sorts of medication but still the headaches persisted.
Things started to go even more pear shaped when the migraines continued and I started experiencing moments where I would "blackout" for a few moments and usually hit the ground. One blackout resultedin a car accident. I got more and more stressed and work were putting pressure on me about my time off (I was having to work 12 hour nightshifts) My immune system went through a crash and I caught every cough and cold under the sun and aquired Chronic tonsilitus which resulted in me having a tonsilectomy at aged 20. The time I took off work for the op was the end of my second job.
I saw several doctors and was refered to a nuerologist on a couple of occasions and my problems where put down to stress. Things got so bad I even attempted to kill myself one night in a cry of dispair. After altering my lifestyle and diet I discovered that there were two main causes for my headaches: one an allergy to Aspartame (artificial sweetners) and two tension. After completely cutting out Aspartame I'm still left with my blackouts which remain a mystery.
I am being reffered back to have some more tests run but at the moment I just feel like giving up. I have no energy. I don't sleep well. I'm agitated and fidget all night. Have no sex drive and I also get very angry for no reason and just blow my top at people. Only in the last few weeks I have noticed myselffalling into these so called blackouts. Sometimes I manage to fight them back but other times I have been told I stare into space blankly for a few moments.
The insomnia is really getting me down now. I take about 5 hours to finally get off to sleep and even when I doI wake up several times. I have dreams where I am unable to complete tasks and run over and over them again and it drives me mad.
I went through 1 week where I felt quite good but that week I worked nonstop and barely had 5 minutes to myself but eventually being that busy does take it's toll.
Just how do I get myself feeling good again? I can't really remember what it's like.