Without knowing you at all, I hope it's okay if I ask a few questions.
Where did you learn to eat the way you do? Where did you learn that fasting for 30-40 days is healthy?
I wonder if you might be open to considering the possibility that you could choose to be a healthy person?
I wonder if you could perhaps begin to investigate how eating real, whole foods and making sure your nutritional needs are met might help rather than starving and punishing yourself and your body so it has no choice but to retaliate?
I wonder if you can turn this into ways to learn to love and support yourself, and to be curious about what wonderful things might happen to you, your life, and your body as a result?