I don't know you but I can relate to how you feel. Your words have been said by me so many times, I had to look twice at the authors name as I thought I was the person who posted. Please don't be done living. Maybe take a complete rest from the battle. Take an antidepressant as it is necessary because all this stress depletes the brain of what it needs to operate. Force yourself to find one reason to smile daily. Utube is free, listening to babies giggle, watching puppies or kittens playing, to discovering new things to do on your Computer or Cell Phone . Look at recipes and make yourself a great meal. Go for a walk and notice the smells, smile at a kind looking face, hold a door open for a stranger or pick up a piece of trash and throw it in the trash can. Challenge yourself to get through one hour or 5 minutes. I know it sounds simple minded and I am not minimizing how you are feeling. I understand you are saying you want to give up and I believe you. Don't say you are done, ever. Thoughts turn into action, those words turn feelings into believing we must do something to rid ourself of the pain. Your life matters, you are every bit as valuable as the next person. It is okay to be in pain because the day will come when all this is behind you and will be a memory of a dark time that you got through and won the battle. You met the challenges and came out the winner. Try putting all this on the back burner for an hour or a day. We are not designed for constant worrying. Remember it takes more energy to be miserable than to be happy or satisfied. Nobody in this world can help you get past dark feelings, you hold all the power, don't give it away to these f****** parasites. I am not an expert at anything but cleaning house but I know about how you are feeling and if life is a game, you cannot be the loser, for the simple reason, you aren't a loser. Let the parasites of the world be the losers, the ones who give up, not you. We own our tomorrows. Now, mister, you get up and s***, shower and shave and get away from those crippling four walls. Find the door and go through it to living through the day.