Go and see a good dermatologist. There are new treatments available. I understand everything you have said and agree with the majority of it. Only you can be pro active in searching for a dermatologist that is willing to work with you and try off label treatments. Yes you will waste money on ones that are useless and not helpful but you have to learn to shrug it off and keep trying. People with atopic dermatitis suffered for decades with no treatments only now do they have a targeted treatment which actually works. The point is unfortunately it wont be a builder that will help you it will be a doctor/dermatologist that will help you hopefully clear or manage your symptoms better.
STOP WITH THE STRESS!!! I know its easier said then done but stress effects the body learn coping measures to deal with it. I use to be very strict with trying things for example living a super healthy fit lifestyle for months and months(which was super hard and stressful) but now I have relaxed a lot if i eat something rubbish like pizza who cares or if i skip going to the gym who cares it doesn't change or manipulate my ec. One that has improved my overall health is going for walks in the night time and doing gym sessions late at night. I also walk during the day and go to gym during busy periods but with ec i just feel at peace when its less busy.
If you manage your lips well enough most people will just think you suffer from really dried lips. Being super conscious of your lips people will automatically feel something isn't quite right and this will make social interactions worse. learn to look people in the eye most people might have a quick glance but they really dont care becasuse they are busy living in their own little world and are to busy chasing their own dreams or dealing with their own misery/battles which you might not know about to have the time to care about your issue with your lips.
Daniel miller is an example of somebody getting on with life. What ever he has done to cure or what ever he does with his skin routine to manage his symptoms is the perfect example of dealing with his circumstances.
The dermatology world is advancing with new treatments I know i say this a lot but its true. Be pro active and go find a good dermatologist. Stressing over diets and fish oils and buying the best otc cream and applying this oil and that vinegar etc etc is nothing but a waste of time im sure if something like that was the answer we wouldnt be here having this conversation.
I have seen well over 25 dermatologist and have spent thousands of dollars trying to improve my condition. I have another dermatologist appointment in 3 weeks with a new doctor so im hoping it will be worth while. I had a break from seeing dermatologist for about 9 months because i felt like i was out of options and money was tight but I keep hoping one day someone will have an idea that works. I have worked with a couple of good dermatologist who truly tried their best to help me and tried several off label treatments which they thought was a possible chance of working. Dermatologist are not Gods you cant expect them to have a majic wand/cream through trial and error of treatments is the best way to find a solution to managing and hopefully clearing your symptoms.
I hope you vented enough frustrations out and seriously consider some of the steps I have mentioned.